東京の夜風が気持ちがいいね
2009年 5 月 27日
スプーンもひっそり
５月２７日水曜日。
元我堂お店番ユカです。こんばんは。
今日はみなみちゃんとふたりでひっそりの元我堂。
ふたりでひたすらヤスリを無言でかけ、たまに腰をひねったり、歩いたり、ふらふらしたりして、私などはヤスリをかけながら寝そうになって、自分でびっくりしました。
ヤスリかけながら寝てしまうなんて、むしろしあわせなことなのかもしれません。
今年の１月くらいからずっと考えていることがあって、それは丁寧に暮らすということなのだけど、今の自分を振り返ったときに、丁寧に暮らせているのか？といつも思いながら暮らしています。大好きな人といるとき、あるいは大切な場所で、時間の流れや意識の流れを感じながら、ただひたすら生きていければいい、そしてそれに説明や論理や意味付けなどは必要ないと言える。時間を無駄にしたなんて思わなくなった、そこが自分でもうれしいです。今日、とても気持ちがいい夜風を感じながらスプーンを無我夢中でヤスリにかけている間、頭を垂れている視界には木のかたまりと自分の手しかないんだけど、今あの人は何やってるんだろうとか、ああ今日の夕飯何にしようかなとか、明日お金どうにかしなくちゃとか、家ひっちゃかめっちゃかだから掃除しなきゃとか、頭にぽつぽつと浮かんではすーっと消えていって、ちょっと救われるような気持ちになって、あー私は今タイヤキがものすごく食べたいです。そして正直に生きて行きたいな。
あれなんか変なブログ。
そうそう、元我堂は昔古本屋さんだったので、古本の問い合わせのお電話を受けました。ちょうど前に古本屋でバイトしていたので、日本の古本屋を教えました。
スプーンとお箸作りに、ほらほらお客さま、たくさんいらっしゃーい。
お待ちしております。
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